Tag: memories

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Some Milestone Memories

Just a few weeks ago here in the Mohawk Valley we thought spring was upon us. The tulips were blooming and the bamboo started to grow back as well. Then we woke up one morning to snow.

It gave me time to reflect on how life takes unexpected turns and weather even more so. Since we have been sheltering in place like millions of people all over the world during this pandemic, Lynn and I have spent a lot of time together. Luckily, we never run out of things to talk about – mostly we discuss places we’ve traveled to with a couple of foodie meal reminiscences thrown in for good measure. It’s precisely because we have traveled so much that I’ve come to realize how many memories we have shared together.

“I spoke to you first,” my husband Lynn said to me at dinner the other night. “You know, I kept seeing you on the elevator but you ignored me.”

I had to laugh when he said this to me. I had heard the story before but now that we have been home together every single day and night (except for the occasional trip to the supermarket, liquor store or pharmacy), I actually had time to think about way back when. Full confession: I don’t remember seeing him on an elevator! I don’t think this makes me a terrible person or bad wife, it just means I remember things differently.

For example, I remember the day we met at a dorm party. It was October 6, 1979 and I even remember what I was wearing (white jeans, light blue top). But it makes me wonder, on the day we “officially” met, could we have ever envisioned 41 years later that we would be sheltering in place in a Big Red House a mere 75 miles from where it all started? Highly unlikely.

Want to see what I looked like back then? Yes, I did in fact prefer to wear peasant skirts and a BLOUSE!

Prior to our purchasing the Red House, we used to spend a lot of time in California; January after the holidays (our Christmas gift to each other) and again in September/October for our anniversary and hopefully also timing it with “crush” if we were in Northern California. Who wouldn’t want to look at beautiful vineyards filled with grapes, drink copious amounts of wine and drive the coast – especially with views like this?

If we weren’t in California, then we were in Europe. Often we even took the kids. The first and only time we have been to Berlin we took them with us. If I went back to Berlin now and revisited the Brandenburg Gate, I would probably wonder where they had wandered off to.

Lynn and I have also been fortunate to have traveled to Paris many times. But to this day, even if it’s just the two of us in Paris, I still think of Nicholas skateboarding in front of the Eiffel Tower!

And Rachel? Could she have posed for a picture any prettier than in Monet’s garden in Giverny?

During this pandemic, I started to think about all the family trips for other families that may never happen. What about first dates and chance encounters that are missed? Remember the scene in Back to the Future where Michael J. Fox (playing the character Marty McFly) realizes that if his parents don’t meet and you know, kiss big time, he, himself, would not have been born. And remember how he then spends a good part of the movie watching himself slowly fade away on a photograph he’s holding in his hand? That’s how I kind of feel these days about memories that aren’t happening.

Would our life together have been different if we had never gone to California? This picture of us (one of my favorites actually) wouldn’t exist. Would we understand and appreciate farm to table cooking and good wine as much?

What if we had never traveled with our kids? Rachel never would have been standing on a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

And what about smooching the Blarney Stone? There wouldn’t be a photograph of the four of us standing on the ramparts of the Blarney Castle in Ireland. (P.S. I didn’t kiss the rock, I just looked at it.)

These past few weeks I’ve started to think not only of trips we’ve made together but of birthdays we celebrated too.

Here’s the cake that I made for Rachel’s birthday 10 years ago!

That was the cake for the “family” party. She also had a sweet 16 and celebrated with some of her girlfriends with a limo ride and dinner at a popular restaurant in NYC. She’s so beautiful here in her dress!

How many of these milestone events now during our “stay at home” order will have to be spent at home and not celebrated according to plan? Will these celebrations ever be made up or will we just do something on a smaller scale or ignore them totally and move on?

One of my nieces, Daniella, shared some of her thoughts with me about not having the sweet 16 party she was supposed to have. She wrote, “I really wanted to go to school for my birthday to see my friends and everything but school got canceled 3 days before. And then we found out on my birthday that the restaurant was closed…so everyone came over for pizza that night. I was supposed to have a party and that never happened. And we were supposed to see a Broadway play and that’s been postponed. ”

She also mentioned other friends whose parties keep getting pushed back and knows friends who have “just sat at home on their birthday.” She told me she really “did luck out” with the small gathering she was able to have in her honor.

I think that’s a really good attitude to have these days.

This Memorial Day weekend is bittersweet. Usually by this time of year I’m struggling with the stress of what we call the “end of the school year finish line.” But since I’m working from home these days, the finish line is a lot easier. Normally, Lynn and I have already mapped out summer vacation plans or at least a road trip or two. This year we were thinking about going back to Nova Scotia – an area we haven’t visited in 30 years. We were also thinking about a repeat visit to Frank Lloyd Wright’s Fallingwater in Pennsylvania on the way to Nashville.

Then there is Lake Superior. It’s the only one of the “Great Lakes” we haven’t seen together. And when I get an idea in my head about doing something or going somewhere, eventually I make it happen. Apparently, that won’t be the case this summer.

It’s probably the traveling part that I miss the most coupled with the knowledge going forward that there may be no travels whatsoever for us anytime soon. Does this mean we will simply be “camping” forever at the Red House?

I think this is actually okay. We’ve managed to finally catch up on some overdue home projects. After all, it’s been a little less than a year since we permanently moved up to the Mohawk Valley. And yes, believe it or not, there is still one box that hasn’t been unpacked because it’s filled with pictures and some art work that either needs to be framed and/or hung on a wall.

There has also been quite a bit of gardening. I even bought myself a new pair of gardening gloves which I found particularly charming in that they bizarrely had my paternal grandmother’s name stitched on the side.

I realize that this sheltering in place has not only compromised our lifestyle but made us redefine family and home. Now we spend days deliberately and carefully avoiding any contact with anyone. There are signs taped on the floor of one of the few stores we frequent – directing us where to stand and which direction to walk. And always reminding us to “social distance” and remain six feet apart.

Meanwhile, the deer on our property obviously aren’t following the “rules,” they are congregating in larger groups than we’ve seen before.

But I have to think that this pandemic has compromised so many memories. So much of our childhood and young adulthood relies on certain milestones – whether it be a sweet 16 or school graduation. To make matters even worse, it’s the elderly parents and grandparents who can’t celebrate these milestones with us. I’ve seen pictures of people waving to their parents and grandparents through a window. This saddens me. What about those folks who are deemed too “vulnerable” to even go outside to shop or take a simple walk in case they are exposed to the virus? What memories will they have other than of being stuck at home?

Pictures, of course, help immensely in trying to remember how life had been. But you can’t take a photograph of an important milestone if the milestone doesn’t happen.

I mean, look at sweet Nicholas when he won a plaque for competing in a karate tournament on Long Island!

Or Rachel on her first trip to France when I asked her to turn around so I could photograph her in the Hall of Mirrors at Versailles!

Meanwhile, as we prepare for the summer months, it’s good to spend time outside; gardening (as mentioned) helps immensely. Most of the vegetables are planted and I’m working on a new planter box filled with herbs as well.

This is a photograph I took of a mural painted on a hotel room wall in St. Paul de Vence one summer when we were traveling through the south of France. It’s quite lovely isn’t it? Sigh, I do miss that life.

There’s a lot of time for reflection these days. Lynn and I have been lucky. We don’t know anyone personally who has gotten sick or died from COVID-19. We do know many people who have lost their jobs and are struggling with meager unemployment checks and countless bills to pay. We have tried to help our local farmers by purchasing CSA shares and shopping at their small farm stands when we can. We have tried to limit our online shopping, choosing instead to support local butchers and bakers and liquor stores. We play a lot of Scrabble. We have watched more TV than we normally do but we try to limit the amount of news we watch because it’s just too depressing. We have repeatedly cleaned the house and organized drawers and thought of even more projects to do both inside and outside our home.

Actually, like my niece Daniella wrote, I think we did “luck out.” And while I miss our travel life , I’m okay with this new “normal. ”

Until our next “Let’s Go” adventure.

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Field Trip: Two Museums in Massachusetts

Since Lynn retired from MoMA we don’t visit as many museums as we had in the past. However, now that we live in Central New York, it’s much more convenient to get to places in Massachusetts and Vermont than when we lived on Long Island. Case in point a few weekends ago we decided to have a short overnight road trip to Wiliamstown, MA. We had never been to see The Clark Art Institute in Williamstown and if we had been to Mass MoCA in nearby North Adams, MA, we didn’t remember it.

The morning of our departure, we woke up to an ice storm that made even venturing out of the house difficult (slippery stairs and a car coated in a sheet of ice).

This gave us a later start than we wanted but eventually, after scraping off the ice and navigating some pretty slippery roads, we were on our way.

The Clark Art Institute

I didn’t expect the building to be modern nor the campus (140 acres) to be so large. Besides the museum itself there is a research center and some hiking trails. We were there specifically to see “Travels on Paper” since we are active travelers and like to see where others have been.

Had I paid more attention to the literature on their website I would have realized it was not a contemporary show but rather artists from the late 1770’s to 1880’s! Not wanting to discredit early attempts at photography or charcoal drawings, I was impressed by how difficult it was for people to travel back then. Often getting to such exotic places (Africa, Hawaii, Egypt, Italy) before decent means of transportation was not only lengthy but arduous and often dangerous.

I found myself focusing on the photographs or drawings of places I had been primarily because I was interested in what certain landscapes looked like 100+ years prior to when we had been there. Hence, this charming watercolor of the famous cliffs of Étretat in Normandy by French artist Eugène Edouard Soulès.

Since Lynn and I had been to see the cliffs and the Normandy beaches with our children one year (2003), I was delighted to see that the artist not only had a blue sky, but also a blue ocean view that day! I suppose he could have fudged a little; maybe it had been a gray day then, too, but isn’t it lovely the artist painted these scenes in various shades of blue?

This was our view that day:

A pink and gray sky with some moss-covered gray rocks and gray water. It was perfect.

Even the title of the show, “Travels on Paper” made me think of all the traveling we have done together. And most importantly, how we capture the trip both photographically and often with the written word in blogs such as this one.

As we walked through the show, I found myself repeatedly captivated by places that somehow looked familiar. Had we been there? Or was it a place that looked similar to other sites we had seen.

I loved this watercolor by a British artist I had never heard of, William Gawin Herdman (1805-1882). The piece is titled “Fantasy Archway with Strolling Couple.”

The arch looks almost like a stage set, a prop. Where does the arch lead to? What do the couple see on the other side besides the trees in the distance? The closest I came in my many travels of seeing a similar-looking arch was in Les Baux, in the Provence region of France.

I remember walking around Les Baux one very hot summer day overwhelmed by both the ruins and the heat. Truthfully, I would have preferred to be the woman in the painting, strolling leisurely through the archway, holding the arm of my beloved, even with the long dress!

MASS MoCA

From The Clark we stopped for a bite to eat at a local restaurant then headed into North Adams to visit MASS MoCA. We thought we had been there before but truthfully didn’t remember the building perhaps confusing the venue with Dia Beacon on the Hudson River. I was impressed with the use of the old factory buildings and wish in the town I live in now (on the Mohawk River) that some of the similar-looking factory buildings could be converted to art spaces, too.

Rainy, gray days are perfect for visiting art museums. I love walking through gallery spaces, looking at the often vibrant art on the wall only to peer outside and watch the rain fall or the wind blow things around. There were also old passageways the museum had retained when designing the space that led from one building to another.

One of its first tenants was a company called Arnold Print Works, a manufacturer of printed textiles. The floors we walked on and the big rooms that now house art held large scale equipment back then. We were often reminded of the people who truly labored here. After all it was a factory and accidents often happened with sometimes grave consequences.

We had come specifically to MASS MoCA to see the Annie Lennox show, “Now I Let You Go…” If you are not familiar with Annie Lennox, she is the Scottish singer-songwriter of Eurythmics fame. But first we wandered through some of the galleries. Here are some Sol LeWitt pieces which I’m fond of not only for the use of his bright crayon-like color palette but his geometric forms.

Then we walked into a large hall and got to look at the amazing sculptures of South African artist Ledelle Moe. Her large forms were so engaging and life-like (even in their reclining mode) that even though I know you are NOT SUPPOSED TO TOUCH THE ARTWORK, I struggled to keep my hands in my coat pockets. I wanted to not only feel the forms but run my hands over these figures in hopes of emotionally capturing the incredible strength of her work.

Her work in this exhibit entitled “When” reminded me of the countless monuments we would see not only when we traveled through Europe, but statues with water features we discovered closer to home. This funny looking guy is from a visit last summer to the Sonnenberg Gardens and Mansion in Canandaigua, NY.

And then I saw the heads. They were just hanging on a wall, similar to death masks and looked to be randomly placed. I’m sure the artist wouldn’t welcome my thoughts on “random placement” but I liked this evocative piece immensely.

I thought of our own meager “head” collection at home. Simple clay or wood faces we had picked up along the way when traveling through Italy.

Then there was Jenny Holzer. Lynn was familiar with her work from MoMA but I was not. I found myself mesmerized by her repetitive texts in various languages. Particularly when she writes that “change is the basis of all history.” I love that line. Along with “stale food is repellent” which speaks to my love of cooking.

When we finally got to the Annie Lennox show, I had to walk around it a few times. First to really understand it. The obviously easy part was looking at the “trophy room” filled with awards and copies of her platinum and gold albums.

The more intellectually challenging component was to understand her “mountain” of collective things. There, assembled on what looked like a mixture of sand and gravel, were important pieces from not only her childhood but her children’s too.

The fact that the title of the show “Now I Let You Go” references our inability as humans to discard “things” that often have emotional significance wasn’t lost on me. Lynn and I have moved six times since 1985. Each time we have moved we have managed to throw a bit more away of our “significant things,” thereby reducing our clutter. Except a few boxes that are in the attic right now – our son’s Hess trucks, his wooden train set, our daughter’s favorite stuffed animals plus the dress she wore for her first Christmas. I haven’t been able to “let go” of their childhood just yet even though they are now both adults.

Case in point: how could we ever throw away this note our daughter scribbled on hotel stationery when we were traveling in Florence one summer? The answer is, you can’t.